Secrets
by kom
Summary: Everyone seems to have a secret. Plenty of drama, plenty of romance and slash. NickGreg romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: I do not own CSI or anything to do with CSI except maybe some innocent merchandise! This is post Grave Danger season finale of last season, so if ya haven't seen it, don't read it unless you don't care about spoilers! Mature subject matter and mature language mostly later chapters. If you are against or do not like to read about boys loving on boys, this isn't the story for you. **

**A/N: This is my first piece of fanfiction ever. Please review and let me know how you like it. I have 2 chapters written and if you like it, I'm more than happy to keep going. Thanks and enjoy my CSI friends. -K**

Chapter 1

--

Nick couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to sleep properly since the incident. Every time he closed his eyes he was trapped in that coffin. Claustrophobic and suffocated he would keep his eyes open until sleep forced them shut. Then he would dream. And the dreams were worse.

The next day at work he was dead tired and mentally beat. Psychologically exhausted and slightly nauseous. Greg sat down next to him and frowned.

"Why aren't you eating your lunch?" he asked, his gentle concern ringing clear in his tone.

"Cause I can't eat." Nick mumbled, embarrassed that Greg was seeing him at his worst, seeing him crumble.

Greg searched himself desperately for the right words to say.

"I guess you're sick of people asking you if you're okay?"

"Yeah," Nick said, and he finally looked up from his meatloaf sandwich. "But thanks." he nodded again, staring into Greg's eyes, trying to penetrate his thoughts, but failing. "I'm fine."

Greg nodded and couldn't bring himself to say anything. He didn't want the moment to end, it seemed too perfect. Neither of them noticed when Warrick entered the break room until they were interrupted.

"Staring contest?" Warrick laughed, clapping a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Doing okay Nicky?"

Nick nodded and weakly forced a smile. Greg's stomach churned. His smile, which had once made his heart melt every time he saw it, was now fake, and sad, even tragic. The same with his eyes.

At the end of the day Nick had just gotten changed and was packing his work clothes. He just sat in the locker room, lost in his thoughts. Everything swirled around in his head, and started a pounding migraine right at his temples. He rubbed them, and started to tear up. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there when he heard his name being called from the doorway.

"Nicky?"

Greg was leaning on the door frame, face fallen and manner reserved.

"Hey Greggo." Nick said, pushing out one of his new manufactured smiles.

"Don't do that. Don't smile if you don't mean it. Don't feel obligated."

Now Greg is standing right in front of Nick, his eyes silently pleading with his troubled friend. The back of their hands touched and Greg let his touch linger as long as he felt he could before withdrawing , but barely. "Have you still not eaten?" Nick shook his head. "Well then come over to my place and I'll cook you dinner." Greg could hardly believe he had let the words escape his mouth and so confidently and casually at that. It was a fairly normal and friendly invitation, but to Greg it was so much more. It took Nick what seemed like forever before he finally opened his mouth.

"You get showered and changed. I'll meet you in the break room, I forgot my water bottle."

He walked away without another look at Greg, and Greg then probably took the fastest shower of his life. Once he was dried and dressed he rushed to the break room, anxiously looking around, as nonchalantly as he could fake. Catherine and Warrick were talking quietly, almost secretively, but as many times as he scanned the room there was no sign of Nick. His stomach fell and then he felt it try to climb up his throat. His thoughts were running a mile a minute and he nearly jumped at the touch of a hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Quick shower, Greggo." Nick said grinning down on Greg. A smile involuntarily washed across Greg's face. This was the most Nick had seemed like him self it a while. It was refreshing, and frankly beautiful.

"Not like I got a hot date or anything" Greg said shrugging and looking flirtatiously into Nick's dark eyes. Nick looked back a little curiously, almost invitingly and raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe you should find one, then."

Gregg laughed and replied, "Nicky, you're the hottest date in town. Come on," he said, guiding Nick out the door, hand placed flat and firmly on the small of his back. He could feel the muscles through his cotton shirt and slowly slid his fingers a little further down to the top of his jeans before letting his hand leave Nick completely. "Just ride with me, and I'll drive you home and pick you up tomorrow." Greg said, knowing this must have sounded a little clingy, but he didn't care. He had been so good and confident that letting something like an over-eager offer slip didn't bother him.

"Yeah, alright." Nick said, shooting a sideways glance at Greg. "Sorry, by the way. About not being in the break room to wait, like I said. But I got the feeling I… I wasn't wanted there. They were talking about something private, I could just tell. So I 'went to the washroom' 'till I saw you coming."

Greg nodded and shrugged. "Wonder what's up."

"I don't know." Nick said, once in Greg's sedan.

They drove the rest of the way home discussing their work days, but Greg made sure to only bring up the lighter things, and keep it that way. Humorous stories of Hodges and Grissom.

"Sorry it's messy," Greg muttered, reluctantly letting Nick in and wished that he'd just cleaned up last Saturday like he'd planned to.

"No biggie." Nick replied, looking around a bit. He had been in Greg's apartment before, but other than when he helped him move in to this place, never for any length of time. Just a quick pop in and out.

"Make yourself at home anyways, Nicky." Greg said, moving a couple books to the shelf that had been lying on the couch. "I'm just going to get started on dinner, you can put on the TV, or… or music if you like."

Nick nodded, and to Greg's pleasant surprise, headed to his CD collection. _This means he wants to talk, doesn't it?_ Greg mused.

"Sorry, I don't have any country" Greg called out, grinning as he put a pot of water on the stove to boil.

Nick laughed, a genuine laugh of amusement and beamed up at Greg. "Just because I'm from Texas doesn't automatically mean I like country, you know."

"But do you?"

"Maybe." Nick said shrugging and unable to suppress a smile. Greg laughed, and joined Nick who was still looking at Greg's many CDs.

"Are you honest to God doing okay, Nicky?" Greg asked quietly. "I know you're brave, and you put up a good front and all that. But shit. How could you be alright?"

Nick's face fell. He stumbled over words for a few seconds and just shook his head, eyes gleaming with what looked to Greg like fear. "I…I haven't really talked to anyone about. About… what happened."

Greg nodded and rubbed his hand up and down Nick's back and Nick started taking deeper breaths, but hardly relaxing. "You don't have to. But it could help. And I'm here to listen." Greg said, as Nick finally raised his eyes from the CDs to look at Greg's warm brown eyes. They stared at each other both searching for the perfect thing to say, neither knowing what the other was thinking. Finally Nick nodded, took one more deep breath.

"I can't sleep anymore." he began.

--


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: So you wanted more. That makes me smile. I'll continue and I promise this will go somewhere, and it will be somewhere good. **

Chapter 2

--

Empty bowls sat on the coffee table, stained red. They had formerly held spaghetti and tomato sauce. Greg had Nick under his arm, stroking his neck where the collar of his t-shirt began.

"And I can't let anyone know that this has fucked me up this much. I know that if Grissom gets word, he'll send me home, and the last thing I need is to be home by myself with nothing to do but think. And we've been talking about this for an hour now, you know, I feel selfish." Nick said, relaxing under the nice amount of pressure that Greg's arm placed on his shoulder.

Moving his hand to settle on Nick's shoulder Greg smiled and softly laughed. "Don't be stupid. I could tell you needed to get that out."

Nick smiled. "Anything you need to get out Greggo?"

Greg was caught of guard by this. His head said, _Yes, actually, I'm madly in love with you._ However, his lips formed the words, "No, why?" suspiciously fast.

Shrugging Nick casually replied, "You seem preoccupied sometimes, that's all."

Greg looked directly away from Nick. He almost panicked, although he was sure that Nick couldn't tell. "You don't have to tell me. But is there something? I just want to know that you're okay."

Greg wasn't as strong as Nick. He felt the hot tingling in the corners of his eyes, but suppressed as best he could. Quickly, Greg removed his arm from around Nick's shoulders and put his face in his hands, letting out a long slow breath. Concerned, Nick placed a hand on his leg, rubbing his thumb against the thick, light-washed denim.

"Alright," Nick said. "It's okay. Listen, maybe I should get going."

Greg shook his head, "Fuck, I'm sorry, Nick. Don't go."

"Naw, forget it, buddy. We have to work tomorrow, I should get home. Don't worry about the lift I'll taxi, you just take a hot shower and – Greggo?"

Tears were streaming down his face, through his fingers, and rolling onto his neck, dripping onto his jeans. Nick pulled him into a tight hug, leaning his cheek against Greg's soft blonde hair. "It's okay Greggo, just calm down." he whispered.

Now Greg seemed to be unable to stop the tears, as he was horrified he had actually started to cry in front of Nick like this. Snuggled in his embrace he just cried. Cried out all the frustrations he had at work. All the frustrations he had with his sexuality. All his frustrations with his feelings for Nick.

Nick hated seeing Greg like this almost as much as he hated Greg seeing him vulnerable. The whole time that Nick had been talking about his nightmares, his fears, his paranoia, all the sheer horror that he had been feeling for the past month, he hadn't shed a tear. But now that on top of Greg's tears was too much. He started to feel them slide down his check and soak into Greg's sandy hair.

Blurry eyed and red faced Greg pulled back slightly to look at Nick's face.

"Great, now I got you started." Greg laughed and they both sat there staring at each other, both crying and laughing at the same time.

"Hey, I'm compassionate." Nick replied, once again pulling Greg into a tight, warm hug. Their bodies fit together so perfectly. There were no awkward elbows or uncomfortably bent backs. Their arms and their torsos fit together like puzzle pieces and Greg finally managed to stop himself from crying, instead just listening to the rhythm of his breathing, intertwining with Nick's. Together they just breath, and don't worry about anything else. After what seems like not long enough to Greg, Nick breaks the beautiful silence.

"Are you going to tell me what's up, or should I just go to sleep and leave it for another day?" he asks, taking Greg's hand in his. "I don't want to push it, that's all. And I understand if you want me to leave you alone, I do. It won't hurt my feelings."

Drawing a deep sigh Greg managed to answer looking right it Nick's eyes and holding back the tears. "I just… can't say right now. But I don't want you to go. How about you stay the night?" As hard as he tried the shakiness in his voice was very obvious while making his request. He felt Nick squeezing his hand and then he nodded.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. I'm beat. Now you go take that shower, I'll set up the couch."

Greg agreed and let the hot water run across his sore and tense muscles. He couldn't stop thinking about Nick. About his hand on his leg and how it excited him, or how he didn't pull away when he had his arm wrapped around him. _You, Greg, are making shit up_ he thought to himself, letting out a grunt of frustration. He needed to tell Nick, he decided, it wasn't right to keep it in. Tomorrow though.

When Greg got out of the shower and went back to the couch to check up on Nick he was already asleep, no blankets or pillow. Greg knelt down beside Nick, and ran a hand through his hair. When it was apparent Nick would not wake, he slowly leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips and gently stroked his cheek. "I love you." He whispered, and went quietly off to bed.

Climbing into his bed, Greg tried to shake everything out of his mind, all the swirling, dizzying thoughts that were keeping him from a restful night of sleep. The blankets were warm, however, and the pillow inviting. After a good hour or two of tossing and turning, he fell into a sleep, and however restless and unsatisfying it may have been, it was sleep.

--


End file.
